how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
