Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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