Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
