You can't motorboat a personality
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
