bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
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