this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
