It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize
