im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize