She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
