I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
