i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
the liver wants what the liver wants
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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