hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
