Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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