OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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