when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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