It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
