I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
