weddingsv make me drug and hornr
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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