I molested 6 butterflies tonight
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You pole danced in your parka.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
