Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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