big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
