yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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