Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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