can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
