R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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