Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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