I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
