we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She said her name was "party"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Randomize
