brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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