My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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