i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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