I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Randomize
