he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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