I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
