Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize