I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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