Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
