If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
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