All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
