i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
