Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize