That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I think my moral compass just broke
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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