OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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