lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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