i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
