dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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