She said her name was "party"
time to smoke my breakfast
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
