he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just want nice things and good sex
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize