there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
The air taste purple.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
