I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
