i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
high people should be assigned attendants
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
