So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
