yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
