Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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