Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
