I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize