Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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