I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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