I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
It's blow job season.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
