What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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