too bad you live with your parents still
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
That was an excessively violent trivia night
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
