Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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