I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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