she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
