I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize