drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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